Dear Rodney

Dear Rodney,

We haven't been formally introduced but I am sure you know me. I am the guy who lived in this room before you took it over. For some time now, I have been wanting to have a heart to heart talk with you but I guess our sleep cycles don't match, so instead, I decided to leave you this note.

Did you know Ratinson? If you are related to him in any manner, let me tell you foremost that I had nothing to do with his death. In fact, I thought it was untimely and most unexpected. My life has been quite unadventurous since he departed and I even wrote him an obituary in all earnestness. So just in case you are here to avenge him, you've got the wrong guy pal.

I have seen a lot of rats in my life; they all scamper around on the floor and that's what one expects of them. So obviously, when I saw you climbing up the curtains of my window last night, I freaked out. You must have enjoyed the look on my face. I know you did, because I saw your sinister little eyes light up with joy when you looked at me from the top of the window. You robbed me of my sleep, you made me pick up my quilt and move to the other room in the middle of a cold November night, and that, my friend, wasn't fair. Listen buddy, I am cool with you being in my room and all, but this climbing on the curtains stuff is just not done.

I must also point out that it was utmost disgusting to find your poop on my bed the other day. You probably thought it was a cute little prank, I'll tell you what- IT WASN'T ! You must love eating dirty socks because my room stank of filthy feet for the next two days. The next time you need to 'go' , please use the loo or step out. And yeah, try and include something with a nice fragrance in your diet.

I hope this note makes you realize the inconvenience you have caused me. In fact, I spent a considerable amount of time deliberating if I should even write to you, after all, rats aren't known to be able to read. But eventually I decided to go ahead because if you can climb curtains, you could bloody well read too.

Warm ratartds,

Image source: google images